OK, Italy. I’m back. In season this time. So why do I still feel…off?
When my Italian friend suggested swapping apartments again in June, I quickly agreed and impulsively booked. After all, it was my summer break and any travel excuse would do.
But after only one week abroad, I hit a wall. Like, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being anxious, of missing important events back home, of not feeling motivated to constantly go out and explore and spend money and find places to eat and new people to meet. I had lost steam on my favorite past time!
I felt like Forrest Gump when he finally stopped running.
And so I decided to go home early.
WAIT, WHAT?
“Holly, what is happening to you? You get to be in Europe for a month, unencumbered, and you’re having a pity party by Lake Como?”
Thank you, guilty conscience, I get it. But this time I do, indeed, feel encumbered. I am currently exploring why, but it may have something to do with my soul’s deeper desire to slow down. To be more intentional. To build my home. To nest and rest. To devote myself to more things. To enjoy what’s right in front of me.
The truth is, travel is tricky. It’s this new and novel thing that can also become redundant if you do it enough. And I have done it plenty. In fact, my whole adult life has revolved around it. And, in many ways, it always will. But this most recent trip, and my early return home, was the lesson I needed to learn.
Tides are turning, and times are changing. On the precipice of 40, I’m starting to feel a new unfolding.
And she’s ready for a new season.
in season
phrase of season
- (of a fruit, vegetable, or other food) grown or available at the time of year in question.
- (of a female mammal) ready to mate.
- ARCHAIC at the right or proper time.
Thinking Over 30 